October was Women's History Month, and I want to take advantage of this space to reach out to all our female readers in engineering or other male-dominated fields with some words of celebration, encouragement, and comfort - I see you; I feel you. As I still think frequently about the matter even after almost a decade in engineering, unfortunately, this time, I do not have all the correct answers to the question I propose in the title of this blog. However, I want to share a bit of my journey and some thoughts I had along the way in hopes you can relate to it.
Being Yourself
On our first day as undergrads, a professor told my class that to survive the degree, girls would need to turn into boys. At some point, I had changed how I dressed, my habits, and even how I talked to fit in. I remember feeling inadequate and deeply sad day after day. It took me many years to realize what was going on. No one should have to minimize or change who they are to get an education.
Celebrating the Feminine
That said, I was the only girl in class for maybe half or more of my courses. There were only two professors out of 20 who were women. I had to be mindful and intentional in creating and maintaining relationships with women who are younger and older than I am to be able to find community. Female friendship and support are the closest to the divine we have on this Earth. We know what we are going through, whether it is the psychological, social or biological implications being a woman brings. We are not only intelligent, competent, and attentive to detail. We are also caring; we listen and can talk about feelings.
Remembering It's a Process
It gets tough once you start realizing all the wrong in this male-dominated world. Imagine not knowing anyone like you who does what you want to do. Imagine people crediting your success to you being a woman and, therefore, "more charismatic." And when it's time to enter the workforce, horror stories emerge from all depths. One friend didn't even get an interview because the company's CEO thought hiring women would eventually lead to harassment accusations in the workplace. Another girl never got the chance to do any technical work because the manager thinks women prefer staying in the office and doing administrative tasks. I know, it's scary. At the same time, it starts paying off because you've been trying your best in everything you do. You have good ideas. You always deliver. People trust your judgement. You get that position you wanted to.
While there may not be a perfect formula for overcoming the solitude of being a woman in engineering, we don't have to navigate it alone. We can shift the narrative by staying true to ourselves, celebrating our unique strengths, and building supportive communities. This path is challenging but filled with opportunities to create spaces where we and future generations of women can thrive. Let's keep pushing forward, lifting each other, and showing that there's no one way to belong in this field. We all deserve to be here exactly as we are.