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Hello and welcome to the third in the “Good to Go” Reflection Series. This week, I’d like to discuss nostalgia in relation to PhD defence and graduation.

In , Svetlana Boym associates nostalgia with poets and philosophers. I am neither. I agree with her, though. Nostalgia is hard to control. No specific discipline can claim this as its own. Nostalgia continues to frustrate psychologists, sociologists, and this freshly graduated cultural studies researcher.

I never expected to be so intensely nostalgic after my PhD defence. My thesis advisor’s hitting the emoji button while the chair announced the exam committee’s decision should have triggered exhilaration, right? The hearts on my computer screen were meant to celebrate our success—my advisor’s dedication and my perseverance—after six years of hard work together. Instead, they sent me a wave of nostalgia for the days long gone.

At 4:05, I was alone in a room at Mac-Corry. The world, which seemed to be orbiting me for three hours, was minding her own business. After the exam, I felt an acute longing for—the literal meaning of my given name—for family and community.

Walking home, I was totally lost. One of the two people I spoke to that evening must be wondering why I looked so morose. After all, I had successfully defended my dissertation. His “Why are you walking alone?” meant why are you not celebrating with friends and family. I had postponed celebrations until after the submission.

That day, I was not feeling nostalgia for days past only. I had what I call future nostalgia, the realization that I am , and that there is no , no returning home.

Graduate school provides an opportunity to belong in a temporary home. After graduation, many international alumni, in particular, must live a long-distance relationship with their graduate community. Soon, the university will become a home far away for me, too. The PhD defence was just one step of the farewell.

I later learned that what I experienced immediately after my defence is closer to what is called . A sense of aimlessness wraps you.

“How to cope with the loss and displacement immediately after the PhD defence exam?” you might be asking. I’d like to think a concerted effort might weaken the onslaught.

• Call your friends in advance and DEMAND that they meet you after the exam if they are not already in the room when you are performing your smartest. Post-PhD defence is not a time to walk alone.
• Know that is real for many others as well. Be gentle with yourself.
• There will be good-byes. You will part with people that were part of your PhD journey. You may feel a rupture of the ordinary if you are leaving Canada for your own or another country. . You may want to reflect on your experience. They say the future is intricately bound up with the past.
• They say it is common to sing the blues after graduation. You are getting used to your extraordinary accomplishment and the future opportunities haven’t presented themselves yet. Here are useful .
• You are entering the "Terra Incognita" of job market. Consider talking about your post-PhD life with your advisor, friends, and family. You may want to consult your advisor about . Friends and family may have some tips for you as well.

I wish you a bright post-PhD life, no matter where you are in your PhD journey at the time of reading this post.

Congratulations!