Helen Mathers, the first director of the Ban Righ Centre when it opened its doors in 1974, is so admired that a framed photo of her still sits on a bookshelf in the current director’s office.
It was placed there by Carole Morrison, one of Helen’s successors, who says she would look to Helen’s wise face for a sense of calm during stressful times. The portrait is a show of respect for Helen and demonstrates the long-lasting impact she had on the Queen’s community.
Helen, whose loved ones called her “Honey,” died in July at the age of 97. Kingston was her home, though it was far from where her life began. She was born and raised in California, and after attending Occidental College in Los Angeles, she went to Union Theological Seminary in New York City. That’s where she fell in love with Donald Mathers, who hailed from Scotland.
They married in 1951 and moved to London, England. They weren’t there long, though, thanks to Donald accepting a job offer from Queen’s to teach at its Theological College.
The American and the Scotsman arrived in Kingston in 1953 and quickly embraced their new surroundings. They joined Chalmers United Church, which led to lifelong friendships. On campus, Helen made connections through the Faculty Women’s Club, now the Queen’s Women’s Association.
She quickly became a busy mother of three sons. James, Artsci’77, Law’80, Alastair, Artsci’79, MSc’84, and David, Ed’93, were born in the span of seven years.
In 1972, her life took a detour when Donald, then principal of the Theological College, died of cancer. That set Helen on an unexpected path as a single mother, who soon began her own career at Queen’s.
She was tapped to lead the new Ban Righ Centre, a place for mature female students that offers cosy spaces to study and emotional, academic, and financial support provided by dedicated staff, along with a daily soup lunch.
Helen, riding her bike to the centre on Bader Lane, brought her hardworking and empathetic nature to the role and it flourished under her leadership.
“She set the ambience and the welcoming nature of it for the women students,” says Mary Davis Little, Arts’62, a friend through Chalmers Church who led the Ban Righ Centre after Helen. “She was very interested in people, and she was very non-judgmental.”
She believed women should aim high and was dedicated to helping them succeed. She was known to carry scraps of paper in her purse with the names of students who needed assistance written on them, and other pieces noting various resources and ways to help. Then she’d play matchmaker.
“Helen’s approach was warm, accepting, pragmatic and encouraging, all underpinned by humour and an empathetic smile,” says Davis Little.
Her successors say they had big shoes to fill after Helen retired in 1990. They describe her as a wonderful role model who set the centre up for success. As it marks its 50th anniversary this year, they say Helen’s legacy lives on in its vitality.
“Helen’s wisdom, her kindness, her fortitude shaped the culture and operations of the Ban Righ Centre, forging a path and a role for the centre at Queen’s that serves us to this day,” says current director Susan Belyea.
Helen’s contributions to Queen’s extended beyond the Ban Righ Centre over the years. She also served on the board of the Theological College and on the admissions committee for the Faculty of Medicine. In 1981, the Kingston branch of the alumni association recognized her years of dedication with the Padre Laverty Award for outstanding service in the community. A bursary was also named in her honour that supports women in pursuing their education.
Helen was also part of strong communities of women off campus. For more than 30 years, her women’s spirituality group has been meeting monthly to socialize and discuss literature, feminist theology, and other intellectual topics.
The women were among the many friends Helen hosted at her beloved cottage at Buck Lake. The rustic property north of Kingston was where her passions for connecting with nature, her friends, and family would intersect.
“She loved nature, she was inspired by nature, she was a student of nature, and what she learned from nature she would often try to apply to friendship and human endeavour,” says her son David.
Known to be an early adopter of the reduce, reuse, and recycle tenet, Helen wouldn’t let anything go to waste. She encouraged others to respect the environment and she served on the boards of both the Cataraqui Region Conservation Authority and the Friends of Lemoine Point.
Helen loved swimming, hiking, canoeing, and entertaining at Buck Lake. Her friends and family have fond memories of an annual event she hosted there on New Year’s Day. The festivities included roasting sausages over a fire, skating and tobogganing, and tossing snowballs at one another.
She also loved gatherings at her Kingston home on Kensington Avenue, where she stayed as long as she could, into her 90s. “She was an institution on the street, and loved all the neighbours,” her son Alastair says. Every Halloween she transformed her basement into an epic haunted house for trick-or-treaters.
“She was fun to be around, people gravitated to her. She could easily become the life of the party,” David says. His mother took great delight in large family gatherings and doted on her grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
Her loved ones say Helen was a caring friend, a good listener, had a curious mind and relished deep, thought-provoking conversations.
At a memorial service this past summer, her friends and family gathered to pay tribute to the woman they say it was an honour to be loved by, and they expressed how she showed them how to be better people.
On her last day, she told her family it had been a “great life,” that she would miss them, and she had one last request: “When I’m gone, have a swim for me!”
can be made to honour Helen's memory.